Waxmageddon

One fateful night, on a rare occasion when we were unable to supply our thirst, The Real Edward Wells and I spent a couple of hours trying to work out what to do. We had a box of matches, some candles and idle hands, which the devil would shortly be making work for. Edward’s room was a palace to us. It had a commodore Amiga 500, black and white tv, pool table and plenty of floor space. Not forgetting a bed, and blue carpet. Before the internet graced our presence, we would sit for hours wondering things. On this particular evening it occurred to us that providing wax had a Wick of any sort, when melted it would seep into it and burn. What we didn’t deduce was that melted wax was not unlike liquid paraffin. So, we sat in relative silence “busy at work” dripping wax onto an A4 sheet of writing paper ensuring an even covering across its surface and touch paper around the outside. Once the work was completed, we sat back and admired our handy work. It was truly a sight to behold. Moments went by as we pondered the use of our creation when in tandem it occurred to us to light it there and then as, what’s the worst that could happen? Naivety comes in many forms, on that evening it came in the guise of two young men, an incendiary device and an invention with the explosive power of the Hindenburg. The following events happened with such speed that it is still a wonder we are “Skin Graft free”. Edward lit a match and offered it to the touch paper. The paper caught immediately and in a fraction of a second the wax began to melt. As the wax wicked into the burning paper, almost at once the whole sheet evaporated into a ball of fire. We both jumped up and began juggling the fire between us as it spat vicious projectiles over his room. Managing the door was all we could do before the flames were now soaking the carpet and growing more. It took the two of us to beat it out with our feet until the angry flames disappeared. We stood in silence. The room was full of smoke. As the air cleared we surveyed the damage, irreparable holes in the pool table, burn marks on the wall and a black stain on the carpet. Yet, In our panic we had alerted no one of our stupidity so we did the only thing we thought right.

Sat down and began dripping wax onto a new piece of paper.

This one would need more wax..